Where The Wild Things Are

Let me just start off by saying I am more excited about the release of Where The Wild Things Are on October 16th than I am about my 20th birthday a week later. Trust that I will be front row opening night!

My fascination with this book began when I was young, as it did for most kids. I didn't have siblings and so I was responsible for making my own fun as a kid, needless to say I developed a ridiculous imagination. We didn't own this book, but it was one I would grab and read while cozied up in an old bean bag during free time in our school library.

Maurice Sendak published this book in 1964, and what is so cool to me is that he not only wrote it but he also was the illustrator. 

This movie is growing into one of those "trendy things" but I don't really care. The book has such a good message and I'm really excited to see how the movie expounds upon the themes of hope and childhood innocence. 

I can tell the movie is going to have such a magical feel to it and I know I'm going to love it-kind of like how much I love Penelope...don't judge. 

Did I mention Theta Alpha's Fall Rush week theme is Where the Wild Things Are? I know, I can't even wait!

I mean, who wouldn't want to party in gainesville, right???

This article cracked me up. Go ahead, click on the title to this blog and read it.

I just remember when UF was named "#1 Party School" and the kids I know who go to Florida tried to play it off all cool, even the kids who went to Santa Fe, and acted like they knew it all along. 

Are you kidding me?

I go to UCF and I am woken up a few nights every month to drunken college students hollering "U-C-F! U-C-F!" at 4:30 in the morning. This would be understandable if we had just won a football game (which is a rarity)  but no, it just sort of happens. I'm not necessarily bragging because it doesn't even matter to me because I don't drink, but I'm just saying that GPA is the last thing on the minds of most UCF students, which is a world of difference from everyone I know who goes to UF. How can a school full of dedicated students party that hard?

I like how Capitano points out that kids were trying so hard to live up to that expectation. I went to UF last semester to visit a friend and the first sight I saw as we rolled down Archer was a drunk kid projectile vomiting from a car window. Classy.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on UF I mean this is the "Gator Nation" after all and Gators are amazing at life...we get it. I'm just saying, it made me laugh that this was the title to get ripped from their precious gator hands. 

Go Tebow, Go Gata.

Lessons learned from Arizona

I figured I should put down on paper (or Word document) what I learned this summer. This is the condensed version because I didn’t want to make anyone read a novel. Most of the things I learned are relatively simple thoughts that I am excited to attempt taking seriously. I wanted to share this with those I love and those who have supported me so much this summer. Thanks for everything. 

I really don’t know much about anyt

hing. I don’t even know all that is Apache Youth Ministries, the place I feel most passionate serving. This is not the fault of anyone on staff, just the fact that I don’t get to see how things work during the school year (but hopefully will three years from now). It’s been quite humbling if I do say so myself, which is something I think I needed a good dose of.

 

A 9-volt battery is physically smaller than a 6-volt battery.

 

It’s a waste of time and a lack of faith to be stressed out. I’ve known this for a while because it is one of the things I struggle with the most (you know this if you know me at all haha). If I had to pick one person I know that should be allowed to freak out the most it would be Ron Everingham. Ron is also the person I know that freaks out the least and exhibits a life lived in God’s peace. I’m going to try to have more faith and stress out less, so next time you see me stressing out tell me to stop being stupid. Thanks!

 

Love God, love others. It’s as simple as that. It’s not something you need a degree for or any amount of special intense training. It’s a command that is rarely followed but would change the world if people would just do it.

 

I’ve learned that God has more of a right to ask us the “tough questions in life” than we have to ask him. We ask God, “Why are there children starving all around the world?” when in reality we should be asking ourselves the same exact question.  

 

Discouragement dies when met with praise.

 

I am falling more in love with God with each passing day. Thanks to the advice of Derek (I’m not sure he even remembers saying this to me) I am focusing on what Jesus says…you know, those red letters that I’ve skimmed over my entire life. It’s really allowing me to fall in love with who God is, not that I am even close to knowing all that He is, nor will I ever be…and I think that’s what I love most.

 

I have the most amazing friends. I think the reason my suitcase was so heavy on the way home was because it was filled with letters and notes (and a crown of splendor) friends sent with me and mailed to me. You all are amazing. Thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement, I love you all. 

 

The AYM staff is composed of some of the most amazing people I have ever met. If we took out everything else amazing that happened this summer I think I would feel just as blessed to have been considered a lowly intern (ha) among the most Christ-like people I know. Y’all will continually be in my prayers and I can’t wait to be with you all again.

 

Most importantly I was reminded this summer of the crazy love of the One I try to love back. 

HaPPy Potter.

I liked it.

I thought about just leaving my review at that but maybe I should explain a little. I read the first three harry potter books when they first came out and then stopped. I don't know why, it just kind of happened. Needless to say, I am not one of those die hard fans, although I would like to read the rest when time permits. The movie was good, in my opinion. I'm sad that **SPOILER**

Dumble had to die, but I guess everyone else was expecting that. Haha. 

Bless your soul, you've Staal-en my heart!

okay i just can't get over how adorable this picture is! i mean, jordan staal is beautiful and talented and comes from a legacy of amazing hockey players, if anyone should have a big ego it's him! yet alas, one more reason to love jordan staal, he is just a homebody paying homage to his humble beginnings. love it.

With not an idea of what to make of these times...

It's incredible to me how high and low this past week has been. I find myself laying in my bed after a very long, amazing, trying week with not an idea of what to make of these times. I keep getting this weird feeling that this is just how life is on the Rez and I don't even know the full of it. Every year something hits more and more "closer to home". I am thankful this year that I am experiencing an overwhelming sense of humility but at the same time find a balance between letting my inadequacies freeze me and being too hot headed. I've let my emotions get the best of me and it only results in making me...tired. I'm finding that it's okay not to have all the answers...and that puts me in a vulnerable spot. I've never really felt like I've needed logic or reason but now I feel so...exposed when I don't. 

What I don't know:

I don't understand why bad things happen...I don't understand why sexual abuse is tolerated or why parents lose their beloved babies. Why dads leave. Not fathers. D

ads. I don't understand why my emotions get the best of me. I claim to be a "people person" and so many times I jump to a conclusion without even the slightest bit of insight into their life. I don't understand why I am so restless. I feel like I have gotten a glimpse of what my life could be if I were patient and did not settle-I loved it. Will I be able to do it?

What I do know:

I believe in God and that Jesus Christ died for the sins of me and you. Once and for all. 

Hope is real.

There are good people out there.

My heart is broken and I've neve

r felt so helpless in my life. 

It's only been three weeks and I'm dreading leaving here. Don't get me wrong I am THRILLED to see everyone back home. I just hate being so far away from the people I'm building these deep relationships with.

I love Apache Youth Ministries. I see God moving in it more than any other ministry I have ever wit

nessed in my 19 years of life. It's incredible what's happening here. The staff is incredible.

I know I

 need You

I need to love You

I love to see You, but it's bee

n so long

I long to feel You

I feel this need for You

And I need to hear You, is that so wrong? 

Now You pull

 me near You

When we're close, I fear You

Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done

Are You done forgiving? 

Oh can You look past my pretending?

 

Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become

What have I be

come?

 

I hear You say, 

"My love is over. It's underneath.

It's inside. It's in between.

The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.

The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '

The times you're broken.

The times that you mend.

The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well, My love is over, it's underneath.

It's inside, it's in between.

These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.

The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.

The times you're hurting.

The times that you heal.

The times you

 go hungry, and are tempted to steal.

The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.

I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.

I'm there through your heartache.

I'm there in the storm.

My love I will keep

 you, by My pow'r alone.

I don't care where you

 fall, where you have been.

I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.

It never ends."

 

BAH! IT'S BEEN FOR-EV-ER!

Hey, kids! I have been meaning to write a blog but I've been kind of busy with my internship so I'll just catch you up real quick...

Arizona is amazing! It is so good to be back out here! Erin is the other summer intern out here and she is totally awesome! Great girl with a great heart! We've been at the Kennel a lot working with short term groups that come in and we've been doing a lot for Hoops on the Rez. Hoops on the Rez is a basketball camp that AYM hosts every year and it's awesome. Saturday we are helping pick up a short term team of about 20 AND 40 basketball players who have basically been recruited to help out this year...don't worry...it's not like Dwight Howard is coming or anything...but college players none the less! Hoops on the Rez is amazing because it brings in sooooo many Apache Youth. These kids are good at ball and this is such a great opportunity for them because they don't really have anything to do all day except sit around and that plays in to them getting in to trouble. 

Speaking of, it is still a very dark place out here. Some of you have caught on to the little girl that has stolen my heart, Sequoia. The other night we dropped her off at home on our way up to Pinetop and her mom was not home. Sequoia seemed very upset and we all knew why-this is something that happens quite often. When we went to pick her up the next morning Sequoia asked "If you see my mom, will you tell her to come home?" Wow. It ripped my heart out of my chest. What kid should have to beg their parent to come home? It reminded me of the story of the Prodigal Son but in reverse. 

That's life for a lot of these kids out here-and for most their stories are even worse than that...

But to me, it doesn't matter how awful it gets out here because I have met some amazing Apache teens who have chosen another way of life. A way of hope. That being said, I will never tolerate the word "hopeless" in reference to the Reservation. I've heard it one too many times from people back at home and if I hear it one more time I am going to freak out on who ever says it! haha. I know that sounds harsh, but I've realized I have sat on the sideline in one too many a conversation that degrades the Reservation. Yes, the Reservation and any other location for that matter, is hopeless without Christ but it's a slap in the face to say the Rez is "hopeless", that the kids out here "don't have a chance". Even just typing that out makes me want to curse like a sailor because it's all lies! Hopeless is a word used by the lazy. Sorry if that's rude or too straight forward but I believe it with my whole heart.

The Reservation gives me hope. Sequoia, Rainey, Dmitri, Millie, Marissa, Tia...these are the kids that give me hope.

On a lighter note, I have been overwhelmed by the support of my friends while I've been out here. Why this came as a shock to me I have no idea because I have the most amazing friends a girl could ask for...but still...my friends have gone above and beyond anything I could ever ask for them. I am truly blessed to have you in my life. YOU give me hope.